Intimacy vs. Isolation

In Erik Erikson's psychosocial development theory, the progression of life is outlined in experiences that one may pass through. During the intimacy vs. isolation stage, an individual will learn and establish a relationship based on trust. This does not necessarily indicate a romantic relationship, but often does. The ability to trust another human being is very important in feeling connected with humanity, the next stage in Erikson's progression. I feel like for many individuals this stage begins with a best friend relationship. Due to my moving around frequently, I didn't get to establish this relationship until 7th grade. On the flip side of this stage is isolation which I experienced with men. It wasn't until college that I really came to trust men enough to be intimate with them. I think it is important to note that within the intimacy part of this stage, the intimate relationship is one that enhances both parties without stifling one another. I think it takes some people some time to understand that facet of development.

Interpersonal Intelligence

As Howard Gardner described, people have multiple intelligence. Although the theory is not well researched, experience can confirm his conclusions. I feel that I posses the following intelligences: existential , interpersonal, bodily-kinesthetic and some musical. My interpersonal intelligence has been developed and is my strongest intelligence out of those listed.

Growing up in a military family provided me the wonderful opportunity to move around and make a lot of friends. Despite the opportunities it provided, moving around during such a formidable time was difficult. Like all children peer acceptance and social comparison was vital to my development. Changing the demographic of my peer group and environment has made me quite adaptable. I had to constantly make new friends, adapt to established groups of people and forge new relationships that were not guaranteed to last while being authentic.

In addition to these experiences, I was granted the ability to feel other people. Some would call it empathy. In order to protect myself, I learned to not take on the pain of the world but rather use this ability to relate to people. I find it easy to understand where people are coming from on a specific issue or in relation to their background. Sometimes I can understand someone's point of view so clearly that I need check myself to know my point of view, as to not confuse their truth for mine. My ability to understand people, combined with a friendly, open demeanor has helped me tremendously gain friendships with people who are reserved or hard to understand. I think this intelligence will help me be a wonderful teacher for students and parents, as I can be sensitive to students' unspoken needs.

Identity Statuses

When I first read about Marcia's identity theories, I laughed because I feel like I am in continuous moratorium, although some parts of my identity have been achieved. I have learned that the identities that we formulate are egotistical constructions. With that said, in order to function in the world and have worldly success the ego must construct an identity.

I always wanted to be a teacher but didn't want to study education because I didn't want to pigeonhole myself into one sector. I like to remain flexible, open to change and I'd rather not commit to anything too fully. This is a reason I am continuously examining my life choices and experimenting with new ideologies. In college I was definitively in moratorium. I began studying fashion merchandising. I adored the art of fashion but could not deal with the superficial characters and unnecessary drama. Then I experiemented with public relations. I thought I would enjoy this because I enjoy engaging with people and collaborating on humanitarian projects. I think at this point I had an understanding of myself but not full identity achievement. I finally decided to major in International Social Justice and Spanish.

I have found identity in many things, including yoga. I loved yoga so much I became an instructor. In this face-paced American world, I find that yoga helps me stay focused on my inner desires and helps me relax. It was through meditation and my yoga practice that I reconnected with my aspiration to be a teacher. I have had the fortunate opportunity to travel to Haiti, Peru and Spain. These experiences have helped me formulate an ideology with my identity. Equality, hard work and communal support are a few parts of my ideological identity. I feel my identity will continue to evolve as I have more life experiences.

Physical Development

During adolescence I was painfully aware that I stood out due to my height. Between 7th and 8th grade I grew 6 inches. This made me look like I was 17, not 13. I remember vividly crying many nights because my knees were in such pain, aching soreness that no position change or exercise could help.

Middle school and early high school was a very physcially and socially awkward time. Like most kids in early adolescence, I was awkward in my body. Playing sports or simply walking down the street left me feeling inept in my own skin. My physical development was complex. Outwardly I was healthy, popular and captain of the field hockey team but inwardly I was very insecure of my physical body. My mother was overweight when I was growing up and I feared getting fat like her. Despite being an irrational fear, I was at-risk as this can be recipe for disaster. I was unsuccessful with boys, had poor body image and a strict exercise regime. I can thankfully now say that I have overcome a poor body image and disordered eating.

I will be instructing elementary school aged children, it is important even from a young age to help develop a positive self-image, self-esteem and healthy eating habits especially considering the unrealistic images and symbols of our society.

Gender Roles

It has been long debated, the differences between girls and boys. After much analysis, the consensus is that these gender roles are culturally developed and reinforced. I internalized American sex-role behavior and used it in my daily life. In middle school I was deciding what sport to play. The social acceptance of playing a sport was appealing. I didn't want to be too girly because at 5'2" at age 13, I didn't feel very dainty. Growing up with brothers and possessing a strong drive, I didn't mind playing rough. With that, I decided to play field hockey.

(Caroline Nichols, my co-captain senior year of high school, she went on to be on the Olympic Team)

This decision and my continuation with the sport through high school had a lasting effect on my development. I was first drawn to the sport because you got to wear a skirt (kilt) during games but in high school field hockey players did not fit well into gender roles. I often had to defend myself against claims of being a dyke because at 5'9" in the 10th grade in peak physical condition, I had more of a masculine physique. My attitude with boys didn't help the situation either. I had stereotyped boys/men and believed they just wanted sex and they didn't care about women. I inferred this through observation of my life, and media. Media reinforces, I would say more negatively, gender roles. Television, magazines and media give so much unrealistic gender role information.

On another note about gender role, I always wanted to be a teacher but had reluctance because I viewed it as a traditionally woman role. I have rejected the 1950s housewife idea with force. I have molded myself to be the antithesis of what a 1950s housewife represented to me. I am independent, motivated, honest and self-sufficient. As I have come into relationships and having a son, I have embraced my inner housewife.

Like American gender roles, my life has evolved to be more open and inclusive to not assign specific tasks to a gender. I learned with time, it is not wise to close off parts of oneself just because it is not socially acceptable because you won't evolve to be a whole and integrated individual.